


Inexorable Loss

by StreakofEmerald



Category: The Fan Club (Short Story)
Genre: Broken Friendships, College Setting, Difficulties in School, Extensive Usage of Social Media, Gen, Implied Chronic Depression, Social Exclusion, Somewhat-Cowardly-but-Redeemable Laura, Unhappy Rachel
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-11-06
Updated: 2016-11-06
Packaged: 2018-08-29 07:46:26
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,193
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8481367
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/StreakofEmerald/pseuds/StreakofEmerald
Summary: This is just a continuation to the short story "The Fan Club" by Rona Maynard that I whipped up for a school project! In short, it's about a college-age Laura attempting to save Rachel from an untimely death whilst simultaneously trying to repair their broken friendship. Feedback would be most appreciated!





	

Laura raced down the hallway as rapidly and expediently as physically possible, hugging her books tight to her chest with one hand and struggling to clasp onto her knapsack with the other. Her chest heaving with exhaustion, she fought to keep her leaden feet moving, for if she failed to do so, she wouldn’t make it to among the most important events of the day - an afternoon meeting with her professor.

  
She mused between strangled breaths about what had taken her to this point in her life. The young woman, 21 years of age and working on her undergraduate degree in community leadership at her local community college, had fought like a demon to secure this spot, for she wasn’t nearly as capable academically as her peers. She thought back to her experiences in her middle and high school days - all those C’s and D's in every subject excepting Latin, despite how hard she tried in school - and remembered why the professor she was about to meet looked down on her. Why everyone looked down on her. Oh, and the refusal to interact with and act in accordance with the “in” crowd, of course.

  
As she stopped just outside the professor’s door, she reminded herself of how much more capable the other students were than her, and thereafter listed some examples. Catherine, her bullying roommate with seemingly no respect for those less capable than her (both intellectually and appearance-wise), was a prime example, of course, earning mostly A's and B's in each semester she bragged about. Then there was Jonathan who, although not as gifted as Catherine touted herself to be, was still above average, earning mostly B’s. And then…

  
There she was, Rachel, her former friend.

  
Suddenly, a shadow crossed Laura’s. Shocked and more than slightly fearful, she lifted her head from its slumped position and promptly stumbled onto the floor. Looking up from her prone position, she stared directly into a pair of foreboding hazel eyes - just like the ones she remembered.

  
“Excuse me, please, but do I know you? I haven’t seen you around school before,” Laura began, attempting to distance herself from the very likely possibility that this girl was indeed the person she had tormented in high school.

  
“It is your responsibility, and yours alone, to know who I am,” the girl replied, and with that response, laced with an indescribable level of hate, Laura realized that this girl must indeed be Rachel. She got up from her prone position and looked the girl directly in the eyes, as a sign of respect. Then, as the moment of silence between the two grew ever longer, she backed off slightly, fearful of what her former friend might do.

  
“Playing the coward, it seems. I guess people never change,” Rachel spoke with shuddering breaths. Her entire face was suffused in pink, and she looked as if she might cry.

  
“Well, what was I supposed to say? You were making the situation awkward by putting me on the spot, so I-”

 

“It is your responsibility, and yours alone, to know why I am here. It is your responsibility, and yours alone, to know my name and purpose. It is-”

  
“Alright, could you please calm down for just a moment?” Laura pleaded, hoping to get Rachel to show some rationality, fearful that she may burst into a flurry of tears or fists at any moment. “Besides, technically, isn’t it not my responsibility to know what’s wrong? Yes, I know, many things might have happened since I last saw you, but isn’t that just the problem? There’s no way I could’ve known-”

  
“People like you hate to take responsibility for your actions, anyway,” Rachel replied, her voice shivering even more than before and tears streaking down her face. After this last chilling comment, she dashed off with rapidity in the opposite direction.

  
Puzzled and more than a little stunned, Laura resolved to call her former friend later to see what could possibly have gone wrong in Rachel’s life before heading into the heavily furnished science classroom.

 

Tugging on the stuck doorknob with incredulity, Laura heaved open the door and slapped her backpack and binders onto the desk. The LEDs in the room were turned off, as if to convey the severity of her failures.

  
No amount of extra help would aid her at this point, her professor had said. She’d likely have to just complete an extra year of studies to compensate for the subpar grades of this semester, he had said. Shame on him, Laura thought, attempting to reassure herself. He was simply being judgemental. Her consistent D’s in the course were nothing compared to the F’s that some students had received. Surely-

  
No. Laura couldn’t attempt to sugarcoat this. She had to face the fact that here, as in many scenarios, she had failed.

  
As she prepared to travel off to her bedroom in order to reflect upon her failure (and, hopefully, make the call she had intended to make to Rachel), a shadowy figure entered the doorway leading to the hallway from the dormitory. Carrying herself in a haughty manner (as usual, Laura observed), the figure recognizable as Catherine reached towards the light switch. Not wishing to involve herself with a person likely to mock her lack of achievement, Laura retreated into her bedroom.

  
Pulling out her smartphone from her front pants pocket, Laura dialed the number she’d had saved on the phone for years. After a single failed call, she tried again, but when her second attempt also failed, she simply retrieved her laptop from the main room and resolved to use that.

  
She searched the keyword “Rachel Hortensky” on the social media site Rachel had once said she used, then clicked on the first user account she could find. Afterwards, she, resolving that the key to Rachel’s odd behavior could be at least partially explained by her current interests, clicked the tab marked as such.

  
Unsure as to exactly what she was looking at for a moment, she adjusted her glasses and peered closer. Despite all her attempts to circumvent the truth, however, she couldn’t mask the fact that Rachel’s user account toted her as having no meaningful interests whatsoever. Instead, there was a simple, short message under the associated tab, stating, “Yes, I don’t have any interests. But what does it matter? After all, my life is worthless either way.”

  
At this statement, Laura’s attitude towards the entirety of the situation was no longer that of bewildered intrigue, but dread and fear - how could Rachel truly take such a nihilistic stance, when she had been so innocent and happy-go-lucky during their friendship? Gathering herself, she resolved to check under Rachel’s most recent messages in hopes of unearthing another clue.

  
Scrolling through the messages by most popular, she searched around until she uncovered the one marked as being posted 2 hours ago. At this one, her palms became sweaty, her breathing shallow, her pupils dilated as if in a vain attempt to re-confirm what she was seeing. She forced herself to read the message mentally:

  
“Have you ever encountered a situation in which the odds are so heavily stacked against you, the people around you so incredibly opposed to your actions that you feel as if you can do nothing? That’s what I contemplated today, when I re-met a former ‘friend’ that I believe I may have mentioned before - Laura. Of this encounter, I won’t launch into any of the juicy details, but it may be of interest for you to hear the message that I’m done with it all. Or maybe it won’t be of interest to you. Who knows? I do.”

  
Laura shivered and convulsed in a silent display of dread and regret. The implications of this message - and of her previous actions - were great. Leaving her items (excepting her phone) in a pile in the middle of the floor, she grabbed her car key from her Ikea desk and raced out the front door without bothering to say goodbye to Catherine. It mattered not - she had someone to save.

 

As she drove 15 mph above the speed limit, with her phone providing the directions to Rachel’s house in one hand and the wheel in the other, Laura contemplated how much Rachel still had to give to the world. Even when young, she’d told Laura, she had been an exceptional student, boasting straight-A’s and being involved in a plethora of science and mathematics-related clubs and extracurriculars. Someone like that - someone so much more gifted than her - couldn’t possibly throw themselves away like that, Laura was sure.

  
Oh, and there was the fact that it would kill her if Rachel took her life, of course.

  
As she drove up to the impishly-sized home in sheets of pouring rain, she rehearsed what she was to say to Rachel. It’s my fault all of this happened to you. Your own life isn’t a good price to pay for what others - including me - have done to you. You have to much to offer to throw it all away.

  
Yet all of her intellectualism - all of her planning - fell by the wayside when, after opening the conveniently unlocked door and traveling to the upstairs bedroom, from where she heard a solemn whimpering, discovered a sobbing Rachel on the floor in a fetal position. Laura was paralyzed with perturbation.  
“Uh, e-excuse me, Rachel-” Laura began apprehensively.

  
“Leave! Immediately!” Rachel retorted, surprisingly urgently and brashly. “Your actions are meaningless at this stage of progression! There is nothing ANYONE may do to fix me! Especially not… you.” Rachel ended off with an air of intense contempt apparent in her words.

  
“So p-please, STOP.” Rachel insisted. “Nothing can be done, especially by YOU. And to make matters worse, my life is meaningless either way, so therefore, your mission is meaningless.”

  
“Oh, yeah, and I forgot to mention this last time we met, but you’re dead to me, Laura. You’re dead-”

  
“ENOUGH OF THIS!!!” Laura finally screamed at the top of her lungs. Initially surprised that such a high - decibel noise could possibly arise from the lungs of someone such as she, she thereafter continued, “Please - stop crying. It’s a pointless action when really, I should be the one crying. All of this - all of this ‘I’m worthless’ talk - all of it is my fault.” Intrigued by this last comment, Rachel finally looked up from her lying position, curious as to how Laura’s comments could possibly change her mind.

  
Laura continued with her meticulously-crafted plan. “You were my best friend ever since I met you in 4th grade. I knew from when I first saw you that us, being social outcasts as we were, would get along well.” Laura watched Rachel’s facial expressions for any sign of contempt at her words, but kept going when she saw none.

  
“You’ve always been there for me. Through thick and thin. Through the good and bad times. When I was bullied by Diane and Terri and Steve, you were there for me to talk science to them while I snuck off. But when the same happened to you-”

  
Laura paused for a moment as a single tear streaked down her face. “I abandoned you and betrayed you. That began happening as early as 6th grade. And for that - well, I can’t express the depth of my regret.”

  
“I now realize, looking back on it all, that my actions were wrong, but nothing can heal the damage I’ve caused to you. Before, you were so bright and happy. But now… you’re just an empty husk of the person you once were. Someone who doesn’t even realize the depth of their talent and the services they can provide to the world. I mean, you received a 100% on a test that I scarcely received a 71% on!”

  
“So please… reconsider the decision you’re about to make. Do you really want to take your own life when you have so much to live for? So much to provide to other people that I never provided to you?”

  
Laura waited in anticipation for Rachel’s response. After what seemed like ten times an eternity, Rachel finally sat up and replied, “We’ll speak about it later.” There was an odd air of finality in those words.

  
Laura hesitated for a moment, then walked out of the room, carrying herself with a baggage of intense dismay. However, just before she was about to reach the doorway of the house, she heard a hushed yell from above the staircase:

  
“At 3:00 PM tomorrow! It’s official!” The voice was like the one she remembered - bright and full of optimism and hope, much unlike the one of nihilism and self-loathing she had just experienced a few minutes prior.

  
As Laura walked down the sun-splotched driveway towards her car, she realized with a start just how much of an impact her facing the consequences of her actions may have just had on her friend’s life - of which there may have otherwise been a lack thereof. Smiling at the fact that she, for once, had made a difference, she climbed into the front of the car and turned the keys.

**Author's Note:**

> Thanks a bunch for reading - especially since this wasn't expected to get a single view! :P It would be most appreciated if you left a comment telling me how to improve, mmm? And since you're here already, would you be so kind as to leave a kudos if you liked the fic? Little touches like that inspire me to keep writing, but no pressure, really! Thanks!


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